Seeing someone we care about struggle with their mental health can be overwhelming. We might feel helpless and anxious. We want to help, but we might not know how to start or what’s helpful versus what might make things harder. It’s okay to feel unsure—it’s a lot to navigate.
The very fact that you’re here, reading this article, proves your intention to support someone through a hard time. The good news is that supporting a loved one doesn’t require you to have all the answers. It’s about showing up, listening, and being there in meaningful ways.
Let’s talk about how you can help a loved one cope with mental illness while also taking care of yourself in the process.
Start with Listening, Not Fixing
When someone you care about shares their struggles, it is our first instinct to want to fix the problem. While this comes from a good place, it’s not always what they need. A lot of times, people know what they need to do. It’s just that doing the thing isn’t as easy for them as it seems for us. Sometimes, what’s most helpful is simply being a safe space where they can share without fear of judgment or unsolicited advice.
Try this:
• Validate their feelings: “That sounds really hard. I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
• Ask open-ended questions: “What’s been on your mind lately?” or “How can I support you right now?”
• Reassure them of your presence: “I am here for you, in whatever capacity you want.”
A lot of people with mental illness feel as though they have lost control of their lives. Listening to them reinforces the control they do have on their lives without a sense of isolation.
Learn About Their Mental Illness
Understanding their condition can help you provide better support. Each mental illness comes with its own challenges, and learning about it can demystify what they’re going through. Furthermore, they feel supported and the relationship the two of you share improves as well. For example:
• Depression might make even simple tasks feel impossible.
• Anxiety can make everyday situations feel overwhelming.
• Bipolar disorder might mean periods of intense energy followed by deep lows.
You don’t need to become an expert, but knowing the basics can help you respond with empathy and patience.
Recognize the Power of Just Being There
You don’t need to have all the answers or say the perfect thing. Often, the most meaningful support comes from simply showing up. Sit with them during tough moments. Send a text to check in. Celebrate small victories with them. These seemingly small gestures remind your loved one they’re not alone in this journey.
Encourage Professional Help, Gently
Therapists, counsellors, and psychiatrists are trained to help people with mental health challenges, but suggesting professional help can be tricky. Instead of pushing, try to make it a supportive suggestion.
You might say:
• “Have you thought about talking to a therapist? I’ve heard they can really help.”
• “I can help you look for someone if that feels overwhelming.”
• “If you’d like, I can go with you to the first appointment for support.”
Remember, seeking help is their choice, so try to be encouraging without being forceful. It is only helpful for a person to seek support from a mental health professional when they want it.
Be Patient with the Process
Mental health journeys aren’t linear. Have realistic expectations from the process. Some days will feel better than others, and setbacks are normal. It’s important to manage your own expectations and avoid pressuring them to “get better” on a specific timeline. Healing takes time, and progress often looks like two steps forward, one step back.
Help with Everyday Tasks
Mental illness can make even basic responsibilities feel like climbing a mountain. Offering practical help can ease their burden in ways that feel tangible:
• Cook a healthy meal or bring groceries.
• Help tidy up their space.
• Run errands together.
• Offer to drive them to appointments.
Small acts of support can make a big difference, especially when someone feels stuck or overwhelmed.
Set Boundaries for Yourself
Supporting someone with mental illness is deeply compassionate, but it’s also emotionally taxing. Remember, you’re not their therapist or sole source of support. It’s okay to set boundaries and prioritize your well-being too.
For example:
• Let them know you’re there for them, but communicate when you need space to recharge.
• Encourage them to build a support system beyond just you—this could include friends, family, or professionals.
• Practice self-care, whether that’s taking time to rest, engaging in hobbies, or seeking therapy for yourself.
Supporting someone doesn’t mean neglecting yourself—it means showing up in ways that are sustainable for both of you.
Know When to Seek Immediate Help
Sometimes, mental illness can lead to crises, like suicidal thoughts or behaviors. If your loved one ever talks about wanting to harm themselves, take it seriously. Stay calm, and reach out for help immediately by contacting a mental health crisis line or local emergency services. Your role in that moment is to ensure their safety, even if it feels uncomfortable.
Your Support Matters
Loving someone with mental illness can feel heavy, but your care and compassion are so valuable. Even if it doesn’t always seem like it, your presence and patience make a difference.
And remember—you don’t have to do this alone. Lean on your own support system, whether that’s friends, family, or a therapist, so you can show up for your loved one without losing yourself in the process.
Because at the end of the day, helping a loved one cope with mental illness isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about walking alongside them with empathy, understanding, and love.
